Tag: CT zines

For a friend (or two)(or three)

Even strong women break /
fall apart in parking lots
our lives upside down / wheels spinning
Curse our way through or sleep it out / drink it out, consume it
Find the weight so unbearable /
our hearts just stop
Sure, we can be both / strong and broken
capable and crying / put together
and a total fucking mess

all

at

the

same

time

Never underestimate
the power in that /
the force it takes
to hold ourselves up
while balancing the
world

---

IT BEARS REPEATING

The upcoming series of blog posts is in honor of ALL the women who can, who do, and who keep on doing – who persist – no matter what. They are part of “You Mean A Woman Can Open It,” MANIFEST (zine) #14.

All text and poems ©2026, Jen Payne
Bear artwork by Sohni Ali, website

BUY THE ZINE

IMAGE and TEXT CREDITS FOR THE SERIES:

• You Mean A Woman Can Open It? 1953 Alcoa Aluminum advertisement.
• Well, my boy, let’s get started, from “For me, the perfect hostess is the lady with the whip,” German Artist’s Book, 1960s.
• Best Loved Nursery Rhymes Picture Book, circa 1950s.
• Photos of Ryan Zinke from “Interior Secretary Orders Protester To ‘Be Nice’ During Visit To Bears Ears,” Huffington Post, May 2017.
• Family group on a grave marker from Athens, National Archaeological Museum, Athens
• “An American Girl in Italy,” (Ninalee Craig) by Ruth Orkin, 1951.
• Mess of Fish, Paul Klee
• The coat-stand (Porte manteau), by Man Ray, 1920.
• Calliope, Augustin Pajou, 1763.
• Vogue sewing pattern, 1980s.
• “The history of the pussy bow blouse,” Bethany Armitage, CraftWorld, March 2019.
• Atlas Was a Woman, by Céline (Melle-T), Deviant Art, 2007.
• From the collection of Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) a German-Austrian psychiatrist + early sexologist, 1886.
• “Nevertheless, she persisted” – an expression adopted by feminists, especially in the U.S. after the Senate voted to require Senator Elizabeth Warren to stop speaking during the confirmation of Jeff Sessions as U.S. Attorney General.

(or The Time a New Client Came to My Office with Porn Streaming on His Laptop)

He thinks he is a god
perhaps because he’s
seen through flesh and bone,
formed breasts
from mounds of earth,
created his own father, he says —
a graven image in profile.

He pours nectar in a cup,
licks ambrosia from wizened lips,
insisting the indulgences
please his wife,
then asks if I am single,
looking for collusion.

Finding no inroad,
he puts his foot down
with bombastic flare,
digs a heel into the ground
and cocks a smirk,
“I know the cut of your jib,”
he says with bluster.

But I am moored firmly —
unmoved by gods
and their theatrics,
preferring mere mortals,
their rough-hewn souls,
and flawed finishes.

---

IT BEARS REPEATING

The upcoming series of blog posts is in honor of ALL the women who can, who do, and who keep on doing – who persist – no matter what. They are part of “You Mean A Woman Can Open It,” MANIFEST (zine) #14.

All text and poems ©2026, Jen Payne
Bear artwork by Sohni Ali, website

BUY THE ZINE

IMAGE and TEXT CREDITS FOR THE SERIES:

• You Mean A Woman Can Open It? 1953 Alcoa Aluminum advertisement.
• Well, my boy, let’s get started, from “For me, the perfect hostess is the lady with the whip,” German Artist’s Book, 1960s.
• Best Loved Nursery Rhymes Picture Book, circa 1950s.
• Photos of Ryan Zinke from “Interior Secretary Orders Protester To ‘Be Nice’ During Visit To Bears Ears,” Huffington Post, May 2017.
• Family group on a grave marker from Athens, National Archaeological Museum, Athens
• “An American Girl in Italy,” (Ninalee Craig) by Ruth Orkin, 1951.
• Mess of Fish, Paul Klee
• The coat-stand (Porte manteau), by Man Ray, 1920.
• Calliope, Augustin Pajou, 1763.
• Vogue sewing pattern, 1980s.
• “The history of the pussy bow blouse,” Bethany Armitage, CraftWorld, March 2019.
• Atlas Was a Woman, by Céline (Melle-T), Deviant Art, 2007.
• From the collection of Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) a German-Austrian psychiatrist + early sexologist, 1886.
• “Nevertheless, she persisted” – an expression adopted by feminists, especially in the U.S. after the Senate voted to require Senator Elizabeth Warren to stop speaking during the confirmation of Jeff Sessions as U.S. Attorney General.

I confess, I was a bit offended when one of the characters on my favorite television show walked on scene wearing a pussy bow blouse recently.

The show – Grey’s Anatomy – has long been known for putting women front and center. Strong female characters on screen, important topics like abortion rights and domestic violence, and women in roles from producers and directors, to writers and camera operators.

So the pussy bow surprised me. I’ve always thought of the fashion as something women had to wear in the 70s and 80s; a requisite corporate uniform to simulate the male necktie. Right?

Wrong.

Not a euphemism – originally anyhow – the pussy bow “tied high under your chin” was named after a ribbon one might tie around a kitten’s neck. It first appeared as a design in the early 20th century, and was considered highly feminine. It was a favorite of movie stars in the 1940s and 50s, and later picked up by designers like Coco Chanel and Yves Saint Laurent. But, “over the years the pussy-bow blouse has evolved into a symbol of power for women in popular culture,” writes Bethany Armitage from CraftWorld.

“In the 1960s and 70s, as new opportunities began to grow and develop for working women, so did the popularity of the blouse. Trailblazing women who led the way to the top of their corporate careers had no established examples of how to dress and so looked to their male counterparts for cues. The blouse emulated an alternative to the traditional suit and tie, combining masculine work wear with a frill of femininity which made it an ideal choice for women who were looking to stand out and make an impact in a male-dominated environment.”

Fast forward a few decades, and apparently, the pussy bow blouse is making a big comeback. Again. It’s considered retro and vintage. A fashion statement. It’s a sign of female power, as well as a humble nod to the women who boldly stepped into the workforce and never, ever, looked back.

---

IT BEARS REPEATING

The upcoming series of blog posts is in honor of ALL the women who can, who do, and who keep on doing – who persist – no matter what. They are part of “You Mean A Woman Can Open It,” MANIFEST (zine) #14.

All text and poems ©2026, Jen Payne
Bear artwork by Sohni Ali, website

BUY THE ZINE

IMAGE and TEXT CREDITS FOR THE SERIES:

• You Mean A Woman Can Open It? 1953 Alcoa Aluminum advertisement.
• Well, my boy, let’s get started, from “For me, the perfect hostess is the lady with the whip,” German Artist’s Book, 1960s.
• Best Loved Nursery Rhymes Picture Book, circa 1950s.
• Photos of Ryan Zinke from “Interior Secretary Orders Protester To ‘Be Nice’ During Visit To Bears Ears,” Huffington Post, May 2017.
• Family group on a grave marker from Athens, National Archaeological Museum, Athens
• “An American Girl in Italy,” (Ninalee Craig) by Ruth Orkin, 1951.
• Mess of Fish, Paul Klee
• The coat-stand (Porte manteau), by Man Ray, 1920.
• Calliope, Augustin Pajou, 1763.
• Vogue sewing pattern, 1980s.
• “The history of the pussy bow blouse,” Bethany Armitage, CraftWorld, March 2019.
• Atlas Was a Woman, by Céline (Melle-T), Deviant Art, 2007.
• From the collection of Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) a German-Austrian psychiatrist + early sexologist, 1886.
• “Nevertheless, she persisted” – an expression adopted by feminists, especially in the U.S. after the Senate voted to require Senator Elizabeth Warren to stop speaking during the confirmation of Jeff Sessions as U.S. Attorney General.

We sit, five of us, naked
around the meeting table
in the office of men
who arrive, late, in suits and ties,
and we laugh at how silly it is —
smart women, business women,
and these men — these men —
insisting their way
as we play along, again
then he calls me girl
— a little girl —
and we laugh.

Later, in the lobby,
as I hold up a bedsheet
to my hide my self,
I see across the room
the lover who loved
with shouts and shoves;
he smiles and we embrace
like old friends,
then he shape-shifts
bear, fox, jackal, demon
holds a fist up to my face
and laughs — he laughs —

And I wake up, naked
deciphering dreams,
their train window filmstrip
passing, passing
passing ever so briefly
resurfacing to remind
and retell stories
almost forgot — but not — ever.

---

IT BEARS REPEATING

The upcoming series of blog posts is in honor of ALL the women who can, who do, and who keep on doing – who persist – no matter what. They are part of “You Mean A Woman Can Open It,” MANIFEST (zine) #14.

All text and poems ©2026, Jen Payne
Bear artwork by Sohni Ali, website

BUY THE ZINE

IMAGE and TEXT CREDITS FOR THE SERIES:

• You Mean A Woman Can Open It? 1953 Alcoa Aluminum advertisement.
• Well, my boy, let’s get started, from “For me, the perfect hostess is the lady with the whip,” German Artist’s Book, 1960s.
• Best Loved Nursery Rhymes Picture Book, circa 1950s.
• Photos of Ryan Zinke from “Interior Secretary Orders Protester To ‘Be Nice’ During Visit To Bears Ears,” Huffington Post, May 2017.
• Family group on a grave marker from Athens, National Archaeological Museum, Athens
• “An American Girl in Italy,” (Ninalee Craig) by Ruth Orkin, 1951.
• Mess of Fish, Paul Klee
• The coat-stand (Porte manteau), by Man Ray, 1920.
• Calliope, Augustin Pajou, 1763.
• Vogue sewing pattern, 1980s.
• “The history of the pussy bow blouse,” Bethany Armitage, CraftWorld, March 2019.
• Atlas Was a Woman, by Céline (Melle-T), Deviant Art, 2007.
• From the collection of Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) a German-Austrian psychiatrist + early sexologist, 1886.
• “Nevertheless, she persisted” – an expression adopted by feminists, especially in the U.S. after the Senate voted to require Senator Elizabeth Warren to stop speaking during the confirmation of Jeff Sessions as U.S. Attorney General.

I rarely thought of that night in the gatehouse that overlooked the Sound, salt air moist on lips, and wine.

You wore a white sweater, the kind mariners wear while they tear hooks from small fish and throw them overboard.

There was a fire in the fireplace, and you sat on the floor next to me with your arm around my shoulders, laughing.

I can still see your face, that smirk of a smile that made my heart swim; feel the spot in my chest where love and anxiety mixed often with you.

There was a white robe in your bathroom, a second toothbrush in a cup — the things a woman leaves behind when she is certain she will not be discarded.

They were not mine.

My things were in a pile on the floor next to your bed where you left me in the dark, gutted and alone — the sound of a door somewhere shutting.

---

IT BEARS REPEATING

The upcoming series of blog posts is in honor of ALL the women who can, who do, and who keep on doing – who persist – no matter what. They are part of “You Mean A Woman Can Open It,” MANIFEST (zine) #14.

All text and poems ©2026, Jen Payne
Bear artwork by Sohni Ali, website

BUY THE ZINE

IMAGE and TEXT CREDITS FOR THE SERIES:

• You Mean A Woman Can Open It? 1953 Alcoa Aluminum advertisement.
• Well, my boy, let’s get started, from “For me, the perfect hostess is the lady with the whip,” German Artist’s Book, 1960s.
• Best Loved Nursery Rhymes Picture Book, circa 1950s.
• Photos of Ryan Zinke from “Interior Secretary Orders Protester To ‘Be Nice’ During Visit To Bears Ears,” Huffington Post, May 2017.
• Family group on a grave marker from Athens, National Archaeological Museum, Athens
• “An American Girl in Italy,” (Ninalee Craig) by Ruth Orkin, 1951.
• Mess of Fish, Paul Klee
• The coat-stand (Porte manteau), by Man Ray, 1920.
• Calliope, Augustin Pajou, 1763.
• Vogue sewing pattern, 1980s.
• “The history of the pussy bow blouse,” Bethany Armitage, CraftWorld, March 2019.
• Atlas Was a Woman, by Céline (Melle-T), Deviant Art, 2007.
• From the collection of Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) a German-Austrian psychiatrist + early sexologist, 1886.
• “Nevertheless, she persisted” – an expression adopted by feminists, especially in the U.S. after the Senate voted to require Senator Elizabeth Warren to stop speaking during the confirmation of Jeff Sessions as U.S. Attorney General.

the one who watched her walk to sixth grade from his front door, bathrobe open, exposed

the one who slipped a tongue when no one was watching, just a goodnight kiss to a friend’s teen daughter

the one who assumed flirt meant fuck, crushed her hard against a suddenly reclined seat

the one who grabbed her like a Happy Meal expectation after their drive-thru supper

the one who insisted on air conditioning in winter, who 
joked about cold nipples while pouring hot coffee in the breakroom

the one who called her “girl” in a room full of men, then ignored her while she led the meeting

the one who slammed her into a corner, left bruises as a reminder that dishes were to be done before
he got home

the one who dined her, wined her, loved her, then left her alone, in 
the dark…and never came back

---

IT BEARS REPEATING

The upcoming series of blog posts is in honor of ALL the women who can, who do, and who keep on doing – who persist – no matter what. They are part of “You Mean A Woman Can Open It,” MANIFEST (zine) #14.

All text and poems ©2026, Jen Payne
Bear artwork by Sohni Ali, website

BUY THE ZINE

IMAGE and TEXT CREDITS FOR THE SERIES:

• You Mean A Woman Can Open It? 1953 Alcoa Aluminum advertisement.
• Well, my boy, let’s get started, from “For me, the perfect hostess is the lady with the whip,” German Artist’s Book, 1960s.
• Best Loved Nursery Rhymes Picture Book, circa 1950s.
• Photos of Ryan Zinke from “Interior Secretary Orders Protester To ‘Be Nice’ During Visit To Bears Ears,” Huffington Post, May 2017.
• Family group on a grave marker from Athens, National Archaeological Museum, Athens
• “An American Girl in Italy,” (Ninalee Craig) by Ruth Orkin, 1951.
• Mess of Fish, Paul Klee
• The coat-stand (Porte manteau), by Man Ray, 1920.
• Calliope, Augustin Pajou, 1763.
• Vogue sewing pattern, 1980s.
• “The history of the pussy bow blouse,” Bethany Armitage, CraftWorld, March 2019.
• Atlas Was a Woman, by Céline (Melle-T), Deviant Art, 2007.
• From the collection of Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) a German-Austrian psychiatrist + early sexologist, 1886.
• “Nevertheless, she persisted” – an expression adopted by feminists, especially in the U.S. after the Senate voted to require Senator Elizabeth Warren to stop speaking during the confirmation of Jeff Sessions as U.S. Attorney General.

My mother —
not content
with “grandcats”
tries to set me up.

A nice man, she says.
Goes to church.
Works at a bank.
Drives a nice car.

“Does he write?”
I ask.
“Paint?”
“Dream?”

“I don’t know,
you’ll like him,”
she insists.
Hopes.

“I have enough,”
I tell her.
“My work, writing,
the house, friends.”

“Think about it,”
she says.
“I have,”
I respond.

She asks again,
a week later.
Three weeks later.
“No, Mom.”

“I don’t understand,”
she says me.
“You don’t understand,”
I reply.

“You meet, no?”
says her boyfriend,
the older Greek man
from upstairs.

“You talk.
You like.
You get married.
No?”

“NO!”
I think to scream —
but am polite
to my elders.

“Honey,” he says,
“You are alone.
You get married,
you are happy.”

“I am happy,”
I insist,
no doubt in
Swahili.

---

IT BEARS REPEATING

The upcoming series of blog posts is in honor of ALL the women who can, who do, and who keep on doing – who persist – no matter what. They are part of “You Mean A Woman Can Open It,” MANIFEST (zine) #14.

All text and poems ©2026, Jen Payne
Bear artwork by Sohni Ali, website

BUY THE ZINE

IMAGE and TEXT CREDITS FOR THE SERIES:

• You Mean A Woman Can Open It? 1953 Alcoa Aluminum advertisement.
• Well, my boy, let’s get started, from “For me, the perfect hostess is the lady with the whip,” German Artist’s Book, 1960s.
• Best Loved Nursery Rhymes Picture Book, circa 1950s.
• Photos of Ryan Zinke from “Interior Secretary Orders Protester To ‘Be Nice’ During Visit To Bears Ears,” Huffington Post, May 2017.
• Family group on a grave marker from Athens, National Archaeological
• Museum, Athens “An American Girl in Italy,” (Ninalee Craig) by Ruth Orkin, 1951.
• Mess of Fish, Paul Klee
• The coat-stand (Porte manteau), by Man Ray, 1920.
• Calliope, Augustin Pajou, 1763.
• Vogue sewing pattern, 1980s.
• “The history of the pussy bow blouse,” Bethany Armitage, CraftWorld, March 2019.
• Atlas Was a Woman, by Céline (Melle-T), Deviant Art, 2007.
• From the collection of Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) a German-Austrian psychiatrist + early sexologist, 1886.
• “Nevertheless, she persisted” – an expression adopted by feminists, especially in the U.S. after the Senate voted to require Senator Elizabeth Warren to stop speaking during the confirmation of Jeff Sessions as U.S. Attorney General.

You mean a woman can open it ? Easily — without a knife blade, a bottle opener, or even a husband! All it takes is a dainty grasp, an easy, two-finger twist-and the catsup is ready to pour.

---

IT BEARS REPEATING

The upcoming series of blog posts is in honor of ALL the women who can, who do, and who keep on doing – who persist – no matter what. They are part of “You Mean A Woman Can Open It,” MANIFEST (zine) #14.

All text and poems ©2026, Jen Payne
Bear artwork by Sohni Ali, website

BUY THE ZINE

IMAGE and TEXT CREDITS FOR THE SERIES:

• You Mean A Woman Can Open It? 1953 Alcoa Aluminum advertisement.
• Well, my boy, let’s get started, from “For me, the perfect hostess is the lady with the whip,” German Artist’s Book, 1960s.
• Best Loved Nursery Rhymes Picture Book, circa 1950s.
• Photos of Ryan Zinke from “Interior Secretary Orders Protester To ‘Be Nice’ During Visit To Bears Ears,” Huffington Post, May 2017.
• Family group on a grave marker from Athens, National Archaeological Museum, Athens
• “An American Girl in Italy,” (Ninalee Craig) by Ruth Orkin, 1951.
• Mess of Fish, Paul Klee
• The coat-stand (Porte manteau), by Man Ray, 1920.
• Calliope, Augustin Pajou, 1763.
• Vogue sewing pattern, 1980s.
• “The history of the pussy bow blouse,” Bethany Armitage, CraftWorld, March 2019.
• Atlas Was a Woman, by Céline (Melle-T), Deviant Art, 2007.
• From the collection of Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) a German-Austrian psychiatrist + early sexologist, 1886.
• “Nevertheless, she persisted” – an expression adopted by feminists, especially in the U.S. after the Senate voted to require Senator Elizabeth Warren to stop speaking during the confirmation of Jeff Sessions as U.S. Attorney General.

The upcoming series of blog posts is in honor of ALL the women who can, who do, and who keep on doing – who persist – no matter what. They are part of “You Mean A Woman Can Open It,” MANIFEST (zine) #14 from 2024.

All text and poems ©2026, Jen Payne
Bear artwork by Sohni Ali, website

“You bought yourself a job,” the 60-something male financial advisor said of my successful, 30-year-old business.

I didn’t think to explain the numerous companies I’d assisted over the years, the countless artists, editors, designers, and print shops I’d supported, or the millions of dollars I’d helped local nonprofits raise.
 
I didn’t think to ask if he would say the same about my male accountant and attorney – both of whom are sole proprietors like myself. No doubt they own “firms” or “practices.”
 
I didn’t think to say much, except curtly thank him for his time and leave.
 
For me, the financial planner was just one in a line of men for whom I’ve had NO COMMENT over the years – not the one who felt emasculated because I opened my own doors, the one who took credit for my success because he referred ONE client to me back in 1994, or the one who suggested my leadership abilities equated to a leather-and-whip fetish. I simply let my actions speak louder than any words I might conjure up in the moment of incredulity and outrage.
 
You see, my actions, always, have been based on the assumption that I can be whatever I want to be, and do whatever I want to do. It’s what my parents taught me. It’s what my role models in the 70s and 80s demonstrated for me – Mary Tyler Moore, Marlo Thomas, Judy Blume, Madeleine Blaise, Madonna, Jane Fonda. It’s what I aspired to, despite the cultural predictions for me in my birth-year horoscope.
 
And it’s how I’ve lived my life since I was old enough to make my own decisions about things – how I work and play, where I live and love, what I do and how. My own terms. My own expectations.
 
Of course, that doesn’t sit well with some folks. Mostly male folks of a certain genre. And there have always been attempts to keep me “in my place” – verbally, physically, financially, and so forth. But like so many countless women, I have persevered and succeeded, despite the obstacles and objections.

---

IT BEARS REPEATING

The upcoming series of blog posts is in honor of ALL the women who can, who do, and who keep on doing – who persist – no matter what. They are part of “You Mean A Woman Can Open It,” MANIFEST (zine) #14.

All text and poems ©2026, Jen Payne
Bear artwork by Sohni Ali, website

BUY THE ZINE

IMAGE and TEXT CREDITS FOR THE SERIES:

• You Mean A Woman Can Open It? 1953 Alcoa Aluminum advertisement.
• Well, my boy, let’s get started, from “For me, the perfect hostess is the lady with the whip,” German Artist’s Book, 1960s.
• Best Loved Nursery Rhymes Picture Book, circa 1950s.
• Photos of Ryan Zinke from “Interior Secretary Orders Protester To ‘Be Nice’ During Visit To Bears Ears,” Huffington Post, May 2017.
• Family group on a grave marker from Athens, National Archaeological Museum, Athens
• “An American Girl in Italy,” (Ninalee Craig) by Ruth Orkin, 1951.
• Mess of Fish, Paul Klee
• The coat-stand (Porte manteau), by Man Ray, 1920.
• Calliope, Augustin Pajou, 1763.
• Vogue sewing pattern, 1980s.
• “The history of the pussy bow blouse,” Bethany Armitage, CraftWorld, March 2019.
• Atlas Was a Woman, by Céline (Melle-T), Deviant Art, 2007.
• From the collection of Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) a German-Austrian psychiatrist + early sexologist, 1886.
• “Nevertheless, she persisted” – an expression adopted by feminists, especially in the U.S. after the Senate voted to require Senator Elizabeth Warren to stop speaking during the confirmation of Jeff Sessions as U.S. Attorney General.