July 16, 2024

I want to wake up
thinking about my To Do list
or the last slice of Zuppardi’s pizza
I’ll have for breakfast.

I want to turn over and pet the cat
glance at the book I’m reading
and think about Sunday:
coffee, book, cat
and that’s that.

I want to lie for a while
and plan out the road trip
we wanted to take —
its next leg from Wyoming
up and around and down
to California if we can —
wonder at how we’ve managed
all these years like that
and when we will again.

I want to rest easy
in this wide, soft bed
in this comfortable, quiet home
knowing I have taken good care
of it and myself enough
to outlast the Zeitgeist
roaring outside my window.

But instead I wake too early
wondering if I should stockpile Ramen,
learn how to shoot a pistol,
hoard enough barbiturates
for me and the cat,
consider my escape route
if I should be so lucky.

---

©2024 Jen Payne. If you like this poem, you can read similar in my books and zines, available from Three Chairs Publishing on my ETSY SHOP. They come autographed, with gratitude and a small gift.