There is a stain on my town and it’s hard to ignore.
To get here, you take Exit 54 for Branford, Connecticut / Cedar Street and head south to our charming downtown center. There you’ll find the stately Blackstone Memorial Library and our Main Street flanked by small businesses, an art gallery, and award-winning restaurants. White steepled churches circle the classic New England Town Green, where tables are set out for conversations and ice cream from across the street, and fairs and concerts are regular events. The wide expanse of grass is crisscrossed by brick sidewalks that lead to Town Hall and war monuments honoring soldiers who died to uphold the principles of our country.
But in order to get from Exit 54 to this snapshot of Americana, you have to drive by a monument of a different nature. Its years-long, hate-spewing tribute to Donald Trump includes numerous flags and signs that change as the wind blows — effigies of enemies, the maga slogan du jour, the in-your-face, aggressive rhetoric unfurled for all to see.
I’d call it Hate Speech or Domestic Terrorism. The courts call it “freedom of speech,” but it’s vile. And it’s embarrassing, quite frankly.
Now let me tell you about that stain.
The stain is on me. Because my response to this effigy whenever I drive past it is as full of hate as it is. I regularly give it the middle finger, use foul language, froth up with anger and a visceral desire to cause damage to something or someone.
You know what I mean.
Over the past nine years, we’ve all had that moment when our animal instinct raises the hairs on our backs and makes us want to pounce — verbally, physically, or otherwise.
I have been thinking about that A LOT this week, inspired by my attendance at the 40th Annual Martin Luther King Jr. Breakfast and the presentation by guest speaker Dr. Jeffrey C. Stewart who spoke about nonviolence.
King was a well-known proponent of nonviolence. Here are some of his thoughts on the matter:
“We adopt the means of nonviolence because our end is a community at peace with itself. We will try to persuade with our words, but if our words fail, we will try to persuade with our acts.”
“Here is the true meaning and value of compassion and nonviolence, when it helps us to see the enemy’s point of view, to hear his questions, to know his assessment of ourselves. For from his view we may indeed see the basic weaknesses of our own condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers who are called the opposition.”
“Nonviolence is absolute commitment to the way of love. Love is not emotional bash; it is not empty sentimentalism. It is the active outpouring of one’s whole being into the being of another.”
“I am convinced that even violent temperaments can be channeled through nonviolent discipline, if they can act constructively and express through an effective channel their very legitimate anger.”
Ah — there! How do WE learn to “act constructively and express through an effective channel” our “very legitimate anger”?
I think a lot of us are asking ourselves that lately. How can I express my anger about what is happening around me, but act constructively to make change?
I am not well-versed on the concept of nonviolence. I know Henry David Thoreau wrote about it in Civil Disobedience. I’ve read some of Krishnamurti’s writings on the topic, and I’ve heard of Mahatma Gandhi, Pope Francis, and Cesar Chavez. In the online exhibition “Women Champion Peace & Justice through Nonviolence,” you can learn about Lydia Maria Child, Dorothy Day, Dorothy Thompson, and other women leaders of nonviolent action.
According to the Martin Luther King, Jr. Research & Education Institute, King’s idea of nonviolence had six key principles:
First, one can resist evil without resorting to violence. Second, nonviolence seeks to win the “friendship and understanding” of the opponent, not to humiliate him. Third, evil itself, not the people committing evil acts, should be opposed. Fourth, those committed to nonviolence must be willing to suffer without retaliation as suffering itself can be redemptive. Fifth, nonviolent resistance avoids “external physical violence” and “internal violence of spirit” as well: “The nonviolent resister not only refuses to shoot his opponent but he also refuses to hate him.” The resister should be motivated by love in the sense of the Greek word agape, which means “understanding,” or “redeeming good will for all men.” The sixth principle is that the nonviolent resister must have a “deep faith in the future,” stemming from the conviction that “The universe is on the side of justice.”
If nonviolence is a way to lose this “internal violence of spirit” and find my way back to a “deep faith in the future,” …count me in!
Count me in because, to be honest, it has only been my considerations of nonviolence this week that started to make me feel like our story here isn’t finished, that despite all of the loud noise and chaos since the election, we can find a way to the other side of this…together.
❤️ With Love, Jen Payne
“64 Days to Live Nonviolence”
SEASON FOR NONVIOLENCE
The Season for Nonviolence marks the 64 days between the anniversaries of the deaths of Mohandas Gandhi on January 30 and Martin Luther King Jr. on April 4. Cesar Chavez‘s birthday also falls within the Season on March 31. The Season for Nonviolence was co-founded by Arun and Sunanda Gandhi and the Leadership Council of The Association for Global New Thought (AGNT) in 1998.
To help you learn to practice nonviolence one step at a time, one choice at a time, one day at a time, the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence created a booklet called “64 Days to Live Nonviolence”
They explain:
Through our daily nonviolent choices and action, our noble and courageous spirits rise to move the world in the direction of peace. Wherever you are in your journey, we hope this booklet will support your growth and encourage you, reminding you that you are part of a worldwide community working for nonviolence and peace.
With thanks to The Borgen Project and the Booth Family Center for Special Collections at Georgetown University.
CLICK HERE to read more about King and Nonviolence.
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3 replies on “Let it begin with me…”
Love this Jen!
Rage is a legitimate political emotion-especially here in White Manistan. To quote Audre Lorde, “Focused with precision, it can become a powerful source of energy serving progress and change.”
I realize as women we have been conditioned to be good girls, smile, and put other people’s needs before our own. Don’t be too much and don’t want too much.
There’s a felon and a rapist in the most powerful position in this country and the world, and the message to women is it is their world their choice and we should know our place. Our collective repressed anger needs to be released and it is my hope that we can form a unified sisterhood where women uplift other women, and one where white women vote with the sisterhood and not their race which supports the patriarchy.
Thank you for this, Laura. There is a lot of un-conditioning needed, but where do we begin?
It’s like I am riding with you! Had a house just down from elementary school emblazoned with the F word flags. I found I could not drive by it on my way to work. They are down to the simple yard signs and are often out of state now that son has been required to register, yet still leaving a bad taste in the neighborhood.